Words That Matter Week – What Happened to Friday?

I intended on completing the week with the “Words That Matter Week” project. I really did. And I did fine from Monday, all the way to Thursday…though, I admit, Thursday just kind of squeaked-through. But as I post this it is almost two weeks later…looking back on a “Words That Matter Week” without a Friday post. What’s with that?

I’ll tell what’s with that.

On that Friday I heard the words describing the events of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. I saw the pictures, which true to form, were worth more than any number of words I had read.

On that same day, I read about words that were being spoken in Lybia, as well as in several other nations where old fashioned “Dictators” have not yet understood the fact that they are indeed, “old fashioned”, and whose warped egos define their words differently than people in the sane world.

Then I heard words being used by people talking about politics right here in the old “land of the free”…people using some profoundly cruel and unfair words to attack others whose only fault was that they somehow had other thoughts than the one speaking. Somehow we have lost the ability to use words to ‘debate’ and ‘argue’, and have limited our use of words to ‘attack’ and to ‘destroy’. That’s either sad, or a sign of a growing ignorance and intolerance that scares the hell out of me.

I heard and read a lot of words on Friday that were used to describe and explain some amazingly horrendous things. I just couldn’t get myself to sit down and use some of those same words to write something that had such lessor meaning…it somehow made less of the pain I knew so many people were facing that day.

It has taken about two weeks for me to sit back down and reuse those words. But now, I really don’t care about “Words Matter Week” anymore. No offense intended to anyone involved. But I write these words to express my continued sadness for the losses in Japan, and my continued resentment for those who use words to destroy, rather than to build and encourage. To the first group…my silence is a sign of my thoughts and prayers. To the second group, my silence is an indication that I am not willing to waste anymore words on you. They are just too valuable.

Words…the power they contain.

Wow.

Words That Matter Week…Thursday

Thursday, March 10
Words can be mangled, misused, or misunderstood. What is your funniest example of mangling, misuse, or misunderstanding?

Hmmm, 10 minutes before midnight…looks like I rather put this one off, didn’t I?

But it’s a tossup between the painfully lengthy conversations with my last boss about the misunderstanding we shared in our interpretation of the word “manage” as it pertained to our roles….her as “manager”, and me as “managee”. It wasn’t all that funny at the time, but now as I look back on it from about 8 months…nah, never mind…it still isn’t all that funny.

Or perhaps my choice would be the conversation I had on Wednesday morning with my grandson, as we debated over the definition of the word “kick”…as in “Don’t Kick!”. We never did quite come to terms with that one (but as a footnote, I do believe that child has a physical dexterity that is rather rare in most 25 month old’s….makes a grandpa proud).

My guess is that neither of these really fit the point of the topic of the day, but hey…it’s midnight…I got my post posted…I’m still keeping my commitment of a post a day…and it’s been 4 days. I can live with that.

Words Matter Week…Wednesday

Wednesday, March 9
What is your favorite quote about words. Why?

Hmm, under the pressure of writing this at 9pm and determined to NOT miss a day of this week-long adventure, I’ll go with:

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” from Wendell Johnson.

Still hearing the echos of my Monday thoughts about the word “choice”, I try to remember that ANY word that serves to create some limit or boundary is a pretty foolish use of letters of the alphabet. If there is any thing that is “always” true, and “never” final it’s that pretty much no matter what’s going on around and within us, we still have choices.

No matter how dark the day, if we have the ability to focus our thoughts, we can look at that darkness as being caused by that old blanket we used to throw over the card table in the living room to make a cave to hide from the dragons that roamed through our living room while our parents sat on the sofa behind us watching Ed Sullivan. If things go just TOO dark, we could just lift the edge of the blanket and see Topo Gigo doing something that made mom laugh, and dad roll his eyes.

And when I lowered the blanket again, it somehow wasn’t quite as dark as before.

Words Matter Week…Tuesday

Tuesday, March 8
Words can change history. What speech or document do you believe to be most important. Why?

I really wonder about this one. I know my answer, but I’m not sure just what it actually is.

At some point in time, way back when no one was really concerned about time at all, some “one” came up with a thought that needed to be expressed in a way that was perfectly clear to the other “one” or “ones” that were standing around. So instead of a “grunt” or taking a swing at someone or tossing a rock in their direction, they opened their mouth and “said”…..

That’s where I’m stuck.

That very first word. I wonder what the heck it was. Of all the words spoken since, there is nothing said that has changed human experience more. Once that word came out, everything changed. A new sense of clarity arrived. A new ability to get people what they wanted to get existed. Along with it came some not-so-fun things…the ability to argue about things better (grunting and tossing results in a rather limited level of sophistication argument-wise), the ability to define words differently and get mad at each other and have one group leave the other and start an entirely new group…or political party. That very first word changed everything.

I wonder what it was?

Maybe it was “food”, spoken by some guy coming back to the cave after along day’s hunting and not wanting to waste any time in filling his empty stomach.

Maybe it was “no”,  spoken by someone with a different opinion but without benefit of a rock to throw, or by the person who has been hanging out in the boring cave all day and is in no mood to prepare that “food” for the one who got outside and enjoyed the sunshine.

Maybe it was “WOW”, spoken by…well, I can picture lots of triggers for this one.

Overall, I’m ruling out “aluminum”, and “iPad”, and a long list of others words that are highly unlikely unless the “We all came from space” crowd is actually right in their arguments which then brings up a whole list of new options. So it was probably a very simple word…short and to the point. Perhaps something like “good”, or “hot”, or “water”. Or perhaps “more!”.

But whatever it was, I would love to have seen the look on everyone’s face when that word burst out. And I wonder what happened to the one who said it? Did they become some hero that everyone saw as wise and who then became some kind of an early language tutor? Or did they just kill him and be done with it?

Because sometimes words are better left unsaid.

Words Matter Week…Monday

Monday, March 7
Is there a word that has changed, or could change your life? What is it, and what difference would it make?

It’s not so much the word as it was the moment I finally came face-to-face with its meaning. I heard and used the word for a long time, finding it about as useful as most everyone else does when the need arises to put voice to the concept of making a decision. “Choice” is the word that seems to fit best in that situation. I don’t remember which classroom I sat in when I first wrote the word on a spelling test; though I do remember it was around third grade when I was struck with spelling “categorical”…not at all related to what we’re talking about, but an interesting memory just the same.

I’m not sure I had any larger share of discomfort growing up as a kid; at least not much different than other kids growing up in the west end of a little river town in the Midwest. I grew up in a family with some real problems, but my guess is that 97% of the blogs being written this morning are being written by folks with the same history. It wasn’t all that bad, but as I made my way through it I somehow became more and more convinced that most of what was going on in my life was out of my control. I’m not whining here, but I became a great victim in my own mind.

There were a lot of good things back there. I learned to play the guitar and ended up with my own band. In 8th grade I was standing on stage performing “Twist and Shout” at a high school seniors’ dance…now how cool is that? All those senior girls standing there screaming and waving at me. Sweet. But offstage I spent most of my time feeling trapped; believing that all of the various “not good” things I had experienced somehow defined me, and created some serious boundaries. I found lots of folks to blame for that.

I don’t remember the day, but it was afternoon. That’s when Mr. Parish offered that “Intro to Psychology” course my senior year of high school. It was a test course…something they did back in the 60′s when they knew they needed to do something to prepare us for college, but weren’t really sure just what that something was. At one point on this day, Mr. Parish said something about “choice”. And for some reason, this time the word sprouted little legs and ran from the spot it had fallen on the floor in front of him, climbed up my desk and personally introduced itself to me. Just what Mr. Parish had said…I have no idea. But what I heard was that while I have no control over what comes in my direction, I have full control over what I do when it arrives. Yeah, it sounds rather simple as I write it down here, but if it is anything, it is not simple. I walked out of that class with a new vocabulary, and a new life to wrap around it.

I have choice. You have choice. We have choice. We create our world by choice. Even those things that come at me from somewhere else, are the result of someone’s choice. Could it really be that wild? The newspaper article yesterday said that the number of ear infections in children has dropped dramatically in the past 5 years, and they attribute it to parents making the choice to not smoke…and that smoke apparently is what triggered the infections. Choice. What a concept! What a word!

Choices are not always easy, but they are always there. If I’m in a miserable job…I have a choice. No, if I quit my job I won’t have any money and I’ll lose my car. Well, quitting may not be a smart choice, but it is still a choice. There are lots of choices…good ones, bad ones, smart ones and really dumb ones. So the primary skill I’ve worked on since leaving Mr. Parish’s classroom is trying to learn how to figure out which are the smart ones and which are not. I don’t always get it right. But there is something profoundly satisfying that comes from sitting here at my little desk this afternoon, knowing that I am where I am today because of my choices. No one “did” anything to me that put me here. There’s no value in thinking about blame, or grudges, or anger. I’m here by choice. And that’s cool.

At this point, I choose to stop writing and get back to work.

I Woke Up This Morning Thinking…The World Needs Another Blog!

and I’m just the guy to do it…

Then I opened my email and found the perfect excuse to get started. Following is the list of questions from Words That Matter Week from http://wordsmatter.naiwe.com/.

I will begin this new venture by responding to a question each day this week. And if I actually get through the entire week…wow…

Monday, March 7
Is there a word that has changed, or could change your life? What is it, and what difference would it make?

Tuesday, March 8
Words can change history. What speech or document do you believe to be most important. Why?

Wednesday, March 9
What is your favorite quote about words. Why?

Thursday, March 10
Words can be mangled, misused, or misunderstood. What is your funniest example of mangling, misuse, or misunderstanding?

Friday, March 11
Words, like moths, are captured by writers who pin them to the page in various forms. What writer’s work most deftly captivates you? Why?